Do you worry about irrational things? Do little things "throw you off" in life? Well, I am a worrier. As a Christian, I can quote a lot of times the Bible says something to the effect of STOP WORRYING, but it's one of my go-to bad habits. Yesterday my worrying was all about the delivery of a car cargo carrier for our trip.
As I was preparing for our big trip, many things have been going through my mind about what we need and don't need. Surprisingly, I'm not a person who is anxious about not having what I need when I need it or being in new situations. I
am a person who can have a small seed of doubt grow into a nightmare; so begins the saga of the car carrier. I mentioned that we're going to Yellowstone. You know what is mentioned along with Yellowstone a lot? Wild life... and being gored by it.
Just this week there was a young woman who thought it would be a great idea to take an up close and personal selfie with a bison. There are
lots of times that bear spray is mentioned. Bear spray? What the heck is that? Oh, it's like mace for bears? Ah, okay.There is a whole "bear aware" section on the Yellowstone website. I don't have to worry about that, right? Let me tell you, as a parent who has had a child attacked by a wild, rabid animal, I began to worry. My main worry was about the campground and making sure that nothing that smells like people or food is out in the open. We're driving in an enclosed space for a week and having many lunches on the road. How are we not going to smell like food or people? Then we got the idea to get the car carrier and my fears started to dissipate. Yes, a great solution- we will put all of our camping stuff on top of the car- completely segregated from people and food. It was set to arrive on Friday.
Matt met the truck driver outside and watched as he unloaded a long, thin package. As the truck driver pulled out of our driveway, Matt opened the package only to find a beautiful ornamental, wooden ladder from Italy. Uh oh. He quickly flagged the driver down and explained the problem. The driver called the warehouse and said that our package was mislabeled. No problem. Our carrier would be here between 8-9 on Monday
No problem; until 9:30 on Monday when there is no truck. I called the transportation company and spoke with dispatch. All of the trucks had gone out for the day and our carrier was not on a truck. In fact, it may not even be in the warehouse. What.the.heck. At this point I felt like getting really angry and yelling at someone but I am too polite and have been on the other side of rude people too many times to be a jerk or throw away my integrity. The dispatcher said she would go check the warehouse and then would get right back to me. I explained that we were going on a huge road trip at the end of the week and really do need this in a timely manner. I asked her to let me know as soon as she could, especially if it wasn't there since I'd need to make some alternate arrangements. "Ok, No problem." I felt okay with this answer and went to run a few errands and surprise a friend with some iced coffee.
2 hours later- I called back since I hadn't heard from them. My carrier was not there. Apparently, the mistake on the label had been made at the airport. They sent a driver to "recover the package" and "it would be here tomorrow if there are no any problems." I promised to be home between 9-11 the next day. Of course, since this was now the afternoon, it was looking a whole lot less likely that I would find a solution if the package did not arrive Tuesday, I went on with my day- intending on having a great day but being a grumpy bundle of nerves instead.
I left home early to attend my PT for my feet (plantar fasciitis- both feet, fun stuff). I relished the extra 15 minutes of quiet time that I could spend reading. I was really attracted to the weird sky- which we had a severe weather watch for. (In MA the weather watches are usually for storms that will have high wind gusts, dangerous lightning, flash flooding, etc. Nothing super scary) The thunder rumbled and the sky was a weird reddish brown under a giant storm cloud. I stepped out of the car as huge booms of thunder roared. (It would've been a cool entrance if someone was dreading seeing me.) I thought "Great, now it's going to pour on me right as I walk out of my car." It didn't, but at that moment God kind of revealed to me that my attitude was really crappy.
Was my day seriously thrown off by not getting something that I want? Do I REALLY "need" it? What things would I have to change if it didn't come? Was my short temper with my entire family for the whole day demonstrating how much I love them or that I am a patient woman? Um, nope. I remember seeing someone post "It costs $0.00 to be a decent human being." My first thought was "Yes! There are some people I would like to staple that to today!" The irony was not lost on me.
I skipped my reading time and just sat quietly. My physical therapist was busy with another patient so I went through all of my foot exercises with some time to physically focus on the exercises, but mentally focus on God. I guess the main thing that kept running through my head was "Jen, your worst possible day is so much better than the best days of many, many people- including people who are your friends and family." Ouch, that was personal- and truthful. I usually don't consider myself a selfish person, but I was pretty ashamed of my attitude.
As I put my "problems" aside and opened my eyes, I saw confirmation of all of my thoughts. I enjoyed watching my kids play. I noticed that the threat of the storm brought the humidity down. I really thought about what a friend said about how I'm not really being present in the moment if I'm spending all my time worrying about something coming up or past. I eventually sat down to read. I prayed a few times and purposely scheduled in some time to be quiet. I listened to a friend who was struggling with a medical diagnosis. I noticed that some of my friends have recently lost family members and were hurting. I called my nana and my parents just to say hello. I stepped outside my comfort zone a few times. I have to tell you, it was refreshing... and my car carrier came today.
The 366 Project:
Sent:263 (Holy moly! I'm still ahead of schedule. I'm going to complete this goal this year!!!)
Received: 112 (Only 86 behind goal. Ha ha. Feel free to mail me treats! On a good note, this is all personal mail that has been special to me. So, thanks if you have sent me a letter, card, piece of art, package, etc.)
